By John Vermeesch, founder and steward, Narrow Road Coaching
A Leadership Story
Summer 1980-something. West Point. John Vermeesch was an 18-year-old new cadet sweating through New York’s humidity, running the mountains of the Hudson Valley, and learning just how much he didn’t know about leadership. That summer, he always carried a 3″x4.5″ book called Bugle Notes, a handbook of wisdom that cadets are expected to read, know and sometimes recite verbatim. On page 63, the Army’s 11 Leadership Principles were printed. The first one hit him then and has stuck with him ever since: “Know yourself and seek self-improvement.”
Half a lifetime later, Vermeesch makes his living coaching leaders – on the battlefield and in the boardroom, from the motor pool to manufacturing facilities. He gets asked all the time, “What’s your best advice for front-line leaders?” – the folks at the pointy end of the spear who have to influence other humans to be accountable and drive results every single day.
He could talk about building trust, effective communication, providing feedback and establishing accountability – all important. But he almost always comes back to that first principle he learned as a sweaty, tired, inexperienced 18-year-old: “Know yourself and seek self-improvement.”
Why is this so important? There are two reasons:
- The first reason is that the first person leaders always have to lead is themselves.
- The second reason is that, as one of Vermeesch’s former colleagues – an exceptionally brilliant performance psychologist said, “… in order to enhance, you must first be aware.” Great leadership starts with self-awareness and a passion for lifelong learning.
So, how do leaders translate these two reasons into action while strengthening their leadership skills and methodologies?
Step 1: Self-Awareness
Self-awareness as a leader has two components: 1) knowing what a leader believes in and 2) knowing how a leader is wired as an individual.
What Leaders Believe In
A leader’s values are the three to five things that really matter. Not the corporate values hanging on the wall in the break room, but the leader’s own values – the non-negotiables that define who they are and how they lead. Here’s the thing – if leaders haven’t written them down, defined them behaviorally and shared them with their teams, they’re making their people guess about who they are. When people have to guess, they fill in the blanks and write their own narratives about those leading them, which often are wrong.
As a leader, it is important to write down those values. Define what each value means and, more importantly, what behaviors demonstrate that value in action. Then share it with the team. Live by those values every day. And here’s the hard part – leaders must allow themselves to be held accountable to those values.
One of the most powerful tools for doing this is writing a leadership philosophy. It doesn’t have to be fancy or long. The leadership philosophy should clearly articulate what a leader stands for and how they will show up. When leaders create a philosophy and share it, they give their teams a roadmap for working with them. It eliminates the guesswork.
How Leaders Are Wired
The second component of self-awareness is understanding how a leader is wired. Questions to navigate include, “What are they like? How does that impact how they show up? How do they communicate? What are their triggers and blind spots?”
This is where the real work begins – ask people on the team for feedback, take an assessment and get a coach. It is highly recommended that a leader do all three of these tasks. Vermeesch offers a personal example: He’s an Enneagram 8, an Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging (INTJ) on the Myers-Briggs, a strong DC on the DISC and has taken other assessments like TypeCoach, the Hogan and Predictive Index. He’s taken a lot of assessments, but the results all say similar things and have helped him see who is standing there when he looks in the mirror. More importantly, they help him understand how others see him when he is the leader.
Here’s what he has learned: He has high standards. He tends to see the world in stark black and white, with little gray. He doesn’t naturally collaborate well. He can be overly intense. As an INTJ and an Enneagram 8, he’s wired to be direct, strategic and action-oriented. He’s a high-order, intuitive and conceptual thinker who sees patterns and possibilities quickly. That’s a strength when it comes to strategic planning and problem-solving.
But as a leader, it’s not just about one’s strengths; a leader must also consider weaknesses and areas for improvement. So, on the flip side of his strengths: He’s terrible at attention to detail. The specifics and subtleties that some people naturally excel at are a shortcoming for him. He can miss the small stuff because his brain already is three steps ahead, thinking about the big picture. For years, he didn’t fully recognize this gap. Once he became aware of it through assessments and honest feedback, he could address it.
Understanding how a leader is wired can fundamentally change how they communicate and show up as a leader. For Vermeesch, he knows now that his directness can come across as harsh if he’s not intentional about it. He knows that his intensity can be intimidating. He knows that his tendency to move quickly and make decisions can leave people feeling unheard. Awareness of these tendencies allows him to adjust his approach depending on who he’s leading and what the situation requires.
Step 2: Seek Self-Improvement
Armed with the knowledge gained from true self-awareness, leaders can pursue self-improvement. Remember, “Before you can enhance, you must first be aware.” Leaders must identify the gaps in their game before they can fix them.
The key is to be deliberate about leveraging strengths and equally intentional about addressing opportunity areas – or leaning on team members to cover them.
For example, Vermeesch is never going to be particularly great at attention to detail, and he’s accepted that. So as a leader – instead of beating his head against the wall, trying to become something he’s not, he makes sure he has people around him who are wired differently. He surrounds himself with teammates who are detail-oriented, naturally catch the things he misses and empowers them to ensure nothing falls through the cracks. That’s not shirking responsibility – that’s smart leadership.
Great leaders don’t try to be good at everything. They know their strengths, own their weaknesses and build teams that fill their gaps.
But self-improvement isn’t just about covering weaknesses. It’s also about doubling down on strengths and continuously developing competence. It’s about asking these questions, “Where do I need to grow to be a better leader? What skills do I need to develop to take my team to the next level? How can I become more effective at building trust, communicating clearly and holding people accountable?”
This requires humility and a commitment to lifelong learning. It requires seeking feedback regularly, even when it’s uncomfortable. It requires investing in development through coaching, training, reading and reflection.
The Bottom Line
Leadership is hard. Leading people on the manufacturing floor – where the stakes are high, the pace is relentless and the margin for error is slim – is especially hard. But it starts with the leader. Leaders can’t lead others effectively if they don’t first lead themselves. And they can’t lead themselves if they don’t know who they are, what they stand for and how they’re wired.
So, take the time to do the work of defining values, conducting an assessment and asking for feedback. Then be purposeful about optimizing what works and building a team of people that complements the shortcomings.
Because at the end of the day, the first person that leaders must lead is themselves. And the better they know themselves, the better they’ll be at leading everyone else!
John Vermeesch is the founder and steward of Narrow Road Coaching and a retired colonel from the US Army. Vermeesch’s narrow road is defined by his faith, his love for his family and his compulsion to inspire leaders to make the world and the workplace a little better every day. Vermeesch’s leadership was forged through nearly three decades of service as an infantry officer in the US Army. After graduating from West Point, he refined his leadership expertise by leading and developing soldiers across global theaters. During his final assignment, he was the director of an Army-wide Center of Excellence focused on ethical, character and leader development for the entire Army.
More information: www.narrowroadcoaching.com
Book Recommendations by Vermeesch for a Leader’s Developmental Journey
Leadership Foundations
- Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek: Demonstrates how leaders who prioritize their people’s well-being create lasting success.
- Lead…For God’s Sake by Todd Gongwer: Connects leadership principles with spiritual purpose and meaning.
- Start With Why by Simon Sinek: Explores how great leaders inspire action by starting with their purpose or “why.”
- The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek: Reframes business as an infinite game where the goal is to stay in the game rather than “win.”
Personal Growth and Habits
- 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Sullivan/Hardy: Shows how thinking bigger can actually simplify achievement and success.
- Atomic Habits by James Clear: Provides practical strategies for building good habits and breaking bad ones through small changes.
- Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish: Offers tools and frameworks for better decision-making and mental clarity.
- Winning the Mental Game by Dr. Amber Selking: Presents strategies for developing a championship mindset in leadership and life.
Team Building and Culture
- The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle: Reveals the secrets of highly successful groups and how to build strong team cultures.
- The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon: Uses a metaphorical journey to teach positive leadership principles that energize teams.
- The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey: Demonstrates how trust is the key multiplier for team and organizational success.
Communication and Influence
- Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss: Shares FBI negotiation techniques for better communication and influence.
- The Coaching Habit by Michael Stanier: Presents seven essential questions for more effective coaching conversations.